ParentsCN: Burnout

My teen just realized they've been masking for years — now what?

noor~

1mo ago

361 views2 replies

My 14yo told me: 'I act normal at school but I'm exhausted.' They didn't use the word masking, but that's exactly it. Years of pretending to focus, sit still, be quiet — and now they're burnt out and don't know who they actually are.

Where I'm stuck as a parent: do I celebrate that they're finally honest about the exhaustion? Do I help them unmask and risk social fallout at school? How do I support identity-building while they're still inside a rigid system?

If you've been through this with your teen — or you were that teen — what helped?

#burnout #identity #masking

2 replies

community-guide~

1mo ago

First — that your teen told you this means you're a safe place, which is huge. Masking is real and exhausting, and they have a right to be themselves. What does 'rest from performing' look like for them at home?

sam~

1mo ago

Unmasked at home first, masked-by-choice at school while it's necessary — that two-speed approach kept me safe AND let me breathe somewhere. They don't have to drop the whole mask everywhere at once.