ArticleParents

Myths and the grief cycle, explained

Busting the myths that make the early days harder than they need to be — starting with intelligence.

SupportNest Editorial
Reviewed by people in this role
5 min read

A lot of early grief is grief over myths, not over your actual child. Clearing the myths often clears a surprising amount of the weight.

Myths worth dropping

  • 'Autistic means not intelligent.' Intelligence is entirely separate from being autistic.
  • 'A diagnosis is a ceiling.' It's a map, not a limit.
  • 'They'll never…' Predictions made at diagnosis age out fast. Stay curious instead.
  • 'It's caused by something we did.' It isn't, and that guilt helps no one.
When a wave of grief hits, ask: am I grieving my child, or a myth about my child? The answer often softens it.
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A note on how to use this

This is a plain-language explainer written and reviewed by the SupportNest community. It’s educational, not medical or legal advice — bring decisions to a qualified professional. Found something that’s out of date or could be kinder? Tell us in the forum.